How clumsy I am! How stupid I am! How to change this situation????

Last time I used the Discount Card for students to take the subway, then caught by the stuff and paneled 8 yuan on site. It is unbearable for my self-esteem to be scolded by others publicly. I hate this feeling----just as I am stealing sth., gaining extra advantage unfairly.

  This time, again, in the China Hotel Association Restaurant, I use the free dining card borrowed from a friend of my aunt, intending to have the “free lunch”. The superior caught me for my getting access into it without permission. I remember that she was skeptical of me and stared at me many times, and once she even asked me which department I was in. It is obvious that she is socialized and looks me through from the very beginning. I emphasized for many times that I am in the Accounting Department and I am in the internship period. It works and seems smooth for about half a month.

However, well goes a saying that “Every dog has its day!” today is my doomsday! She asked the same question and even asked the stuff of the Accounting Department whether I am their right member or not. Hey! Without the uniform, and the certificate card of the China Hotel, however I explained for it I was unable to defend for her accusation. Concerning my self respect, I don’t want to bring shame to myself and the helpful friend of my aunt. To my surprised, she said sorry quite politely whilst threatened that next time she would confiscate the dinning card. What a cleaver and sophisticated woman!!! I had nothing to say, just can’t help to finding the fastest way to leave this place!

I don’t want to become the person of that kind: (like my husband) gain what he wants in an unjust way or try to chase a good result without endeavor or even without any effort. Meanwhile, the social skill is inevitable. For example, in these two trifles, if I know a little more about the psychology of the superior of the restaurant, or be more aware of the sharp eyes of the metro stuff, I will save a lot of money.

Everyone tries to struggle and survive. More importantly, they will become unavoidable sensible, selfish, skeptical, sophisticated related to their money and benefits. My husband is right: the origin of human being is greedy evil instead of kind angel. From the simple interpersonal links in the family, office to the significant relationship in the society or world, all the things implies this principle!!! Luckily, I can understand it so early during this holiday…

It is their duties to catch me, for I am guilt of violating the regulation. But next time, I will be more careful and smart when dealing with the same matter. It is an important existent rule in the complicated world: dealing with the sophisticated relationship, you should be hypocritical, pretended, in order to protect myself! Otherwise you will be incriminated by the one with ulterior motives!

今晚又在手机里面和他狠狠地吵了一架，原因是今天我挂Q看不到他，也没有回复他的留言。手机没带，他像发了疯一样，发了很多不看入耳的话，什么犯傻、找死、以后别找我、妈的。。。又是一些我很讨厌的话，很不舒服的话。

他挂我电话之前狠狠地说了一句：“这两天没什么事就别找我了，烦死人！”典型的不成熟的男生的表现。出乎意料的是，我这次不是很伤心，几乎平静地接受了他的横蛮无理的话和行为。他发起脾气来就是这个样子，完全不顾你的感受，我也不是很想理他。

细细想，平静想，我没有了他真的不行？世界上不会没有谁就不能过活。感情，我被它困了太久了，从我16岁碰上陈就被它捆住了。它似乎成为我生活的一半，甚至有时大半、全部。我想腾飞、有一个飞跃，但是没有积累，在关键时候也被束缚了手脚。他，不是值得你投入这么多的人。

感情，只是生活的一小部分，很小的部分。